02.17.10
Self-analysis aloud
I'm not afraid of death.
I've always known I have a fascination with tragic characters, and tragedy in general; tragedy that could be much better, tragedy that does not deserve to have ended in tragedy. I watch Nip/Tuck...that should explain a lot. I'm very dark, not being afraid to delve into the depths of the human soul to look for answers. Some people are afraid of being hurt...you could say that, in many ways, I am not.
Despite my nature, sometimes I look at the bubbly people and wish I could be more like them. I am trying to not be a cynist, but how do you get rid of something that you've een around since childhood? (my parents were and still are huge cynists)
I am trying. I look at myself as awkward for trying. I'm soft-spoken, sometimes fearing what may come out of my mouth. I fear my flaws, and I'm trying to get rid of them.
Yes, I am just...human; human in different ways than some other people. I am unique. That uniqueness comes from the light which constantly battles the darkness inside, manifesting itself in soft-spoken-ness, politeness, and inability to make quick decisions. The quiet ones are the ones who usually have the most going on.
I think I think too much and this is probably too much. Yet...here it is. Here it all is.
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Don't worry, Victor. As bubbily as I am, I love reading stories and watching movies about the apocalypse. Something about the complete upheaval of normal society (and how everyday people deal with this) just fascinates me.
ReplyDeleteI think we all wish that we were as blank as someone else (I do it ALLLL the time). And we all try.
It's a shame we can't just all admit what we're all trying to do or thinking.
-Arianna